I was happily pondering an opportunistic species of frog; able to mate at will with either gender when the mayonnaise line clouded my thoughts. I hadn’t given it consideration in ages. The frog can wait; the miracle whip line deserves a little scrutiny.
Hardly any of us butter the bread on our sandwich. Mayonnaise is the new butter. Slightly tart, perhaps a hint of lemon or garlic if you’re feeling adventurous. It holds things together, moistens the bread, and compliments anything you choose to pile on top.
Then there’s Miracle Whip or the generic Salad Dressing. The only thing these condiments have in common is their colour. Miracle Whip is slightly sweet, thinner and a lot less expensive.
Generalizations are fraught with peril, with that in mind I proceed with caution. Studies seem to indicate that Americans living in the south prefer Miracle Whip and Pepsi; the north mayonnaise and Coke. To my surprise Kraft claims to sell more Miracle Whip in Canada than the U.S. This cholesterol debate is irrelevant, it was another light bulb that went off.
Wouldn’t it be great if we all stopped buying either. Think about the tizzy it would create. Forget occupy protests and concentrate on sandwich spread. Whip the marketing geniuses into a frenzy. It’s so easy to make your own mayo, season it any way you like.