No Problem

A few days ago I did a party for a repeat client; the thing is, last time this client requested a gluten free meal for herself – now she wants no onion, garlic, spinach or melon in anything. Gluten problem resolved, seemingly replaced by a new list of specific dietary restraints. No problem, we can make you a special meal. You’ve decided to make your party a back yard BBQ, ordered Greek and Potato salads to go with your hamburgers – we can accommodate your allergy request with a special meal. Wait – that would be reasonable. You want nobody to have onions or garlic, even though you just ordered a menu based on onions and garlic?  No problem – we can make your menu items without onions or garlic. Spinach and melon shouldn’t be an issue, you wisely left them off the menu.

What’s this? You want us to heat and artistically platter these frozen appetizers you bought at Costco? No problem – hope you don’t mind your dinner being half an hour late because your oven only has three racks and we have to cook the Nachos and Salmon you ordered. Excuse me, you do realize two of your frozen appetizers contain Spinach, and all of them have either onion or garlic? Never mind –  we’ll get right on it. Oh my goodness, why are you screaming? What went through your mind before traipsing across the garden in 4 inch heels? Settle down you’re making a scene, I’m moving fast as I can – please hand me your wine glass, I can’t pull you out of the soil unless your hands are free. Ah, there you go – no problem.

I’m sorry, we weren’t informed you would be an hour late. Dinner was from 6 – 8, I’m certain your host told you that on your invitation. If you wouldn’t mind waiting while we sweep up the wine glass your drunk co-worker just smashed on the patio it would be no problem to put a dinner together for you. You’re starving? No problem, the broken glass can wait.

I realize the ice cream is melting. You ordered ice and whipped cream for all these pies, your guests are too drunk to think pie.  It wouldn’t be a problem to put it in your freezer, and no I haven’t seen your deaf one eyed dog in the last few minutes. Why are you crying?  Oh; I understand – it’s been a tough day. Of course my bartender can stay later than scheduled – no problem.

12 thoughts on “No Problem

  1. I think the key words here are in your description of the client: “repeat client”. I’ve had some of those myself and on their invoices your pricing multiples go up, way up. I call it the nuisance factor.

    • There wasn’t even anything out of the ordinary about this party – I just felt like writing about it.

      I’m likely one of the most outspoken people you could meet but there’s no place for that in hospitality.When I was with Hilton hotels I would always start my training sessions the same way – “with the possible exception of health care there is no other industry that will show you what you’re made of faster than Hospitality.Not for the faint of heart; you are about to become psychologists, mediators, and whipping posts for situations beyond imagination”

      I take nothing personally and if a client is laying out thousands of dollars for a party – it’s my job to make sure it’s the best damn party they’ve ever had.

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