Absurd Cleansing

Human nature never ceases to amaze me – vanity, denial, stubbornness, greed – collide at a place called the “cleansing diet”. The age of celebrity created a fad so stupid it defies explanation. Latched onto by pseudo health practitioners; marketing gurus and social media took care of the rest.

Obesity rates rise faster than pulses watching Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball. Over processed, imitation flavours, all you can eat, super-sized meals; don’t worry’ – you can be thin and fabulous with a cleansing diet and some colonic irrigation. All the “beautiful people” do it, it must be the answer; Β this is where the stroke of genius behind cleansing absurdity comes in – cleansing diets are marketed to every demographic imaginable. The obese can drop 20 pounds in 10 days, the “fabulous” can poop away a few months of excess, the organic crowd can purify their bodies, while those on the fence take the cleanse to be hip.

The “master cleanse” is a 10 day program of putting nothing in your body except a drink of maple syrup, lemon juice, water, lemonade and cayennes pepper. Top it off with laxatives and your body should be good as new, hey Beyonce does it. Dr. Oz jumped in the ring with his quickie 48 hour cleanse of prune and quinoa smoothies, while sipping dandelion tea in an epsom salt bath. I haven’t even touched on concoctions available in health food stores or colonic therapies marketed as “new age” wonders. Holy crap, and I mean that literally.

I’ve always believed; man became mankind when we looked in the mirror and found fault in our reflection. Pondering how stupid vanity makes us, or how gullible humanity behaves, doesn’t make me very happy.


14 thoughts on “Absurd Cleansing

  1. You make a great case and pointedly so about our star worship. Heroes are dead, long live the colonic. It sound like a lot of crap when you stop and think about. I mean every body has to. >KB

  2. I have had a couple of conversations with extremely obese people, total strangers, and everyone of them basically said they were not ashamed of there appearance. it makes me wonder how obese do people have to get before they do something about it or do they even care at all ?

  3. The only reason I would “cleanse” anything would be to keep the pipes flowing freely. My answer to all this…just eat your veggies, please!

  4. Somehow we humans have survived millennia without cleansing; I wonder if more of us had to work hard for our daily bread if we wouldn’t have time to think about such nonsense.

    • So true – it makes my brain explode! I mean, how can people not understand they are being bamboozled.

      It makes me think of a self help craze in the 80’s called EST. Couldn’t tell you what it stands for, nor will I dignify it with a search. Bottom line – people paid hundreds of dollars for these day long “sessions”, then went around with the EST catch phrase “get it” on the tip of their tongues for months afterwards. Bat shit crazy stuff. These people raked in millions of dollars.My room mate dropped $500 on this snake oil. Marketing to vulnerable, gullible, unhappy people. Yikes. πŸ™‚

    • Peter still has control over his senses. Cleansing is HUGE,in my neck of the woods I defy you to find any woman under 30 who hasn’t “cleansed” My daughter tried the rose tea cleanse – becoming sicker than a dog, dehydrated, weak, and out who knows how many dollars. Absolutely ludicrous.

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