Life


Life lurks around every corner – from first furtive cries to our parting salute, life is a mischievous punch line. A crude map with vague instructions, impossible to predict,  quick to slap if we aren’t paying attention.

Language, education, interaction, morals – steer and correct, live and learn, digest and observe. Puberty but a memory, our adult journey begins Life takes no prisoners – sobering smacks deliver true life lessons, easing only once we lock course and set sail. Career, family, goals – life laughs as we ease into our path, oblivious to to the belly slapping bitch slap waiting at just the moment we feel comfortable.

Life has one sick sense of humor. It relishes our foibles, ears prick at the slightest hint of frailty or doubt. Stumbles are welcomed, it gives life something to entertain itself with – tragedy, failed marriage, financial fluctuations – all grist for the life mill. We formulate generalized notions of life at 30, 40, 50. Marketers sell us cream, lotions, hair dye – all aimed at maintaining that youthful package. Though none of us admit it, we all comprehend on some level – the day will come when skin sags and hair sprouts in places we don’t want it – by all accounts, snatched from places we do. Piss off life – we’re happy,as well adjusted as we’re going to get and in control.

Life has a few cards up her sleeve – tricks nobody talks about, hysterical last laughs waiting for precisely the right time to shatter foundations to the very core. Life wets its pants, disappears behind waves of mirth induced tears, begs us to stifle our horror in consideration of propriety at the moment we discover a gray pubic hair.

So horrific, unexpected and beyond the realm of possibility – this is the moment that makes it all worthwhile. The moment life waits for, the only time life is able to set sympathy and consolation aside. This is the bitch slapping joke life holds her breath for – the one and only time a true blindside never gets old. That gray pubic hair is life’s little way of keeping itself interested. Ha Ha life – you’re so funny.