The Revenant

Earlier this week, myself and Mr. Notes went to a movie. Buzz over Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar found us munching popcorn at The Revenant. How could we lose – interesting televised clips, stunning cinematography in preview trailers, best actor Oscar for DiCaprio – what more could a memorable evening ask for? It was memorable alright.

Memorable, as in monumental clunker. Twenty minutes in, suspicion whispered “bullshit”. Considerable effort granted another twenty of “give it a chance”. Enough! Am I the only person in this theatre stifling inappropriate laughter? The only one playing a game of “count closeups of DiCaprio’s mournful eyes”? Whew – Mr. Notes just went to the washroom, I’m not crazy.

Admittedly a blur, somehow we got through the next hour and a half. Proud to say, fortitude triumphed over bad form. Fortitude forgives one audible transgression – credits rolling, I burst into laughter when someone in the row behind us said “that was a terrible movie”.

Walking to the car we agreed every performance eclipsed DiCaprio. What more was there to say – weak plot, absence of character development, obvious overuse of camera angles and lighting, tediously long. Over hyped, rated and reviewed – it doesn’t get more disappointing than The Revenant.