Little Red Riding Hood Has A Gun

Today began as any other – who knew I would have my mind blown. Unlike surprise or holy crap moments ( both of which lend themselves to reasonable recovery times and ability to ponder objectively ) blown minds result in complete misalignment of reality. Its been 6 hours since my mind was blown, far too fresh for anything other than presentation of the facts.

In 2014 the National Riffle Association launched NRA Family, a website dedicated to “embracing the youngest shooters and their families, as well as anyone who is new to firearms”. Everything from hand gun basics and tips for “fun” family hunting trips to “concealed carry safety in the bathroom”. Typical NRA stuff, right? Not so fast, a few months ago the NRA upped their game – rewrite fairy tales by arming the innocent. Below, “editors note” and excerpt from Little Red Riding Hood ( Has A Gun ).

Editor’s Note: Most of us probably grew up having fairy tales read to us as we drifted off to sleep. But how many times have you thought back and realized just how, well, grim some of them are? Did any of them ever make your rest a little bit uneasy? Have you ever wondered what those same fairy tales might sound like if the hapless Red Riding Hoods, Hansels and Gretels had been taught about gun safety and how to use firearms? The author of this piece, Amelia Hamilton hasand NRA Family is proud to announce that we’ve partnered with the author to present her twist on those classic tales. We hope you and your children enjoy this first installment!

“The wolf leaned in, jaws open wide, then stopped suddenly. Those big ears heard the unmistakable sound of a shotgun’s safety being clicked off. Those big eyes looked down and saw that grandma had a scattergun aimed right at him. He realized that Grandmother hadn’t been backing away from him; she had been moving towards her shotgun to protect herself and her home.

” ‘I don’t think I’ll be eaten today,’ said Grandma, ‘and you won’t be eating anyone again.’ Grandma kept her gun trained on the wolf, who was too scared to move. Before long, he heard a familiar voice call ‘Grandmother, I’m here!’ Red peeked her head in the door. The wolf couldn’t believe his luck—he had come across two capable ladies in the same day, and they were related! Oh, how he hated when families learned how to protect themselves.”

13 thoughts on “Little Red Riding Hood Has A Gun

  1. Pingback: What The Fudd? | notestoponder

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