Fat Deck Widow

Last night I met the biggest baddest Black Widow spider. In polite residence behind a flower pot, she exhibited outrage when my broom swept her onto the deck. Stopped in my tracks, this was no ordinary widow. Reflex trumped reason, instinct called for capture. There I stood, mesmerized by the cup of deck widow in my hand. Behemoth is an understatement, abdomens of bedroom, kitchen and basement widows combined wouldn’t equal the girth of deck widow’s belly. Now what?

Couldn’t say how much time lapsed between scrutinizing her magnificence and impulsively running downstairs to show my husband. ” Caught the biggest widow I’ve ever seen” – no match for “Are you crazy? Kill it!”. What was I thinking – he’s snakes I’m spiders, together we have it covered and obviously the two will never meet. “Relax, I’ll take care of it”.

Logically, deck widow needed a new home. Not all arachnids can be trusted, sometimes spiders call for catch and release. Cup in hand I crossed the street, depositing deck widow on the sidewalk for one last look.  The couple walking their dog couldn’t hide assumptions I was out of my mind. Intent on capturing photos with my phone, they didn’t ask, nor did I explain deck widow was one bad ass spider.

2016-07-18 20.58.50

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18 thoughts on “Fat Deck Widow

    • Quite possibly gravid, something had to account for her majesty. The hastily shot cell phone image doesn’t do her justice, nor does it lend perspective to her size. As for catch and release – in my world arachnid annihilations are few and far between. 🙂

    • That’s funny. About a week ago there was a little yellow spider crawling on my arm that wouldn’t take a hint. I squelched my first instinct to squash it, tried to set it free, then put it in a jar.
      Yesterday, having forgotten about the jar and my little friend, I was pleased to see he was still among the living. I decided to set him free, but he wouldn’t get outta the jar -ended up on my arm again. I plucked him off and put him in the grass. Like you, I don’t kill spiders. It’s interesting to see where they go and to think of how they got there. And I think I’ve some sympathy for them – they are so maligned, but what have they ever done to YOU?
      Though there’s nothing in the pic to give a sense of size, I would think it’s pretty good size to get that much detail. Weren’t you afraid of getting bitten? black widows are super poisonous right?

    • Perish the thought! Catch and release is a serious matter, reserved for extreme exhibitions of arachnid indifference to my infinite capacity for harmony. On rare occasions when badass spiders demand eviction, I do so with “trust me spider, this is better for both of us”. Spiders this brazen have my full respect, with that comes intent to give them a fighting chance. I wouldn’t dream of depositing deck widow where someone might find her. Yikes – just read over this comment! Peg is right – I’m the crazy spider lady. Sigh 🙂

      • I didn’t think you would but after NAMING her the Deck Spider one might be lead to the conclusion that she deserves to live — only — on a deck…. Hence the nonsense.

        We rarely trouble our own traveling arachnids. Of course thus far we have been fortunate in not picking up traveling assassins or poison peddlers! Most of the time simply leave them be to catch flies and other annoying pests.

      • Truth be told I have two caught, not released spiders to deal with. Fairly certain one is a brown recluse, the other is likely a harmless specimen of the hybrid beetle/arachnid monstrosity that crawls in my bedroom from bamboo outside the room.Geez, forgot all about them until now – hang on. Whew, I’m back after checking them – pleased to report both are alive and well. Note to self – set them free in the morning. I need professional help!

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