Hating Turkey

Hate is a big word, temper that to strong dislike. Strictly a holiday meal, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter demand roast Turkey and all the fixings. Nobody plans a dinner party in May with “hey, a Turkey would be great”.

The idea of Turkey eclipses reality. There’s a reason we say “I hope it’s not dry” – everyone knows it will be. Turkey requires gravy, cranberry sauce, or mayonnaise once it lands in a sandwich. Families believe size matters, holiday Turkeys linger for days. Soup is Turkey’s greatest gift, immersing that carcass in water means the end of Turkey for another year.

Restricting Turkey to once a year wasn’t easy. I blame myself, stuffing is practically a food group in my home. Nothing fancy, half bread, half sausage meat, onion, celery, and sage. Preparing copious amounts, even though the “cavity” only holds a few cups is lost on my family. I’ve tried to explain stuffing can be served anytime, pointing out almost all the stuffing is baked far from the demon Turkey. No good.

All day “don’t overcook it”, “I hope it’s not dry”, “are you watching the bird”. It’s a damn Turkey! Have you ever had one that melts in your mouth? Turkey is an obligation, if it rocked our world we’d be roasting them all year long.

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4 thoughts on “Hating Turkey

  1. LOL — So, guess who had turkey this week! Not a whole bird. Our convection/microwave is our only baking/roasting option and we can fit a breast, or a leg, but not an entire bird! And in-the-bird-stuffing obviously isn’t in the offing. 😜

    Nowadays with the option of whether you want pre-basted turkeys removed we end up with one that will be jucier than in the old days (I haven’t been able to find a commercially available turkey in the stores we’ve had nearby in quite some time)

    Cranberries, though, are the reason for turkey’s existence. I go gaga over cranberry relish of almost any sort and stock up on it when fresh berries are available in the store. I’ll eat the driest turkey imaginable just for the accompaniment of cranberries!

    That said… one of the great treats in life is a cold turkey sammich with lots of mayo and butter (mayo on one piece of bread and butter on the other) and a mandatory sprinkling of salt (even on my low/no salt diet)! With the right bread one achieves a brief glimpse of nirvana with the third bite.

  2. I was waiting for the Hate Turkey post :). Just to add some interest, the Brits imported guinea fowl from Turkey and called it so. The Dutch got their first turkeys from Kalicut in India and called them Kalkoen. The French also referred to India but possibly the West Indies and called them “dinde” as in, “from india”, ” d’Inde” in french. In fact the turkey you so hate is from South America and because of a linguistic error, acquired the names that the Europeans had invented for guinea fowl – which is an African bird.

    My wife is allergic to chicken and so we eat turkey at least once a week. If you treat it like meat rather than a holy roast, you can do good stuff with it. But as a roast, I agree, it’s just a big chunk of dry meat that stays around for too many days.

    • You’re right, every year I trot out the turkey post.:) Thanks for the Turkey lesson. “Holy roast”epitomizes my sentiments.I’ve been known to enjoy a turkey burger from time to time. Had Thanksgiving dinner at my son’s house tonight – all good until their dog pulled the bird off the counter onto kitchen floor.Bad dog!

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