Nordstrom Rocks Seasonal Absurdity

Stymied gifters across the land –  unfurl your brow, exhale gratitude for American retailer Nordstrom. Know they understand seasonal distress associated with gifts for those who have everything. Sleep well, Nordstrom has your back, those with everything will cherish an $85 rock. Hesitate at your risk, supplies of “medium leather wrapped stones” are limited. Purchase with confidence, secure in affirmation those with everything don’t possess a leather pouch rock.

Why would those who have everything want a rock? Glad you asked, Nordstrom has the answer –

“A paperweight? A conversation piece? A work of art? It’s up to you, but this smooth Los Angeles-area stone — wrapped in rich, vegetable-tanned American leather secured by sturdy contrast whipstitching — is sure to draw attention wherever it rests.”

Don’t beat yourself up over failure to recognize Nordstrom whimsy. Gifting those with everything is a perilous journey, rejoice in the charity of Nordstrom. But for Nordstrom, the weak among us might have gifted those with everything charitable donations in their name. $85 perfectly good dollars could have fallen to creative or thoughtful expression.