Billie Jean

Couldn’t nail down when or why it started, all I know is for well over a decade I’ve texted Billie Jean to my daughter every time it plays at a wedding. Sorry Michael, may your tortured soul rest in peace but Billie Jean is a stupid song. Nevertheless and without exception, Billie Jean has played at every wedding since the ritual started.

I know a thing or two about weddings, they’ve paid my bills for 30 years. How many since Billie Jean texts began is tough to say, truth is I can’t even remember how many this summer, a conservative estimate might be 200 Billie Jeans. Each text represents 10-12 hours of sweat and toil sprinkled with shenanigans and drama worthy of screenplays.

The magnitude of Billie Jean was lost until quite recently, muddied by focus and work load it never crossed my mind Billie Jean represented a brief respite. Billie Jean texts mean dinner is over, coffee and dessert served, cake cut, kitchen staff cleaning up, truck being loaded and a push to strip tables. Billie Jean lets me breath. Only 3-4 hours to go, time to crack the whip, think about signing out staff, write a few words of my report.

Every so often I mention to staff Billie Jean plays at every wedding.They don’t believe me. Just wait I say, Billie Jean hasn’t let me down yet. If I were a smarty pants I’d blither it used to be Lady In Red or Red Red Wine, all that would do is age me. For the record, Uptown Funk is poised to become the next Billie Jean.

15 thoughts on “Billie Jean

  1. Must be a West Coast thing. Here, we get the chicken song. .. “Na na na na na, na na na na na na. . . ” My husband hides in the washroom every fricken time. πŸ™‚

      • Here in the Maritimes, tradition dies a slow death. We also get, “I Knew the Bride When She Used to Rock and Roll” and also this one’s guaranteed – by the Rankin Family. (from Cape Breton) –

        Of course we all get up and step dance. And sweat. πŸ™‚

      • Ah yes, the Rankin Family. πŸ™‚ Not much of a player on the west coast, but then you have to remember Vancouver forms the basis of my wedding experience. The best weddings, those that rise to the top of my rather jaded professional experience, are ones that let their hair down and include all guests regardless of age. A few months ago a wedding hired a live Celtic band and Scottish dancers. OMG! It was so fun – kilts were flying, fiddles plucked heart strings and every last seat emptied onto the dance floor. ( I laughed out loud when the band took a break and Billie Jean filled the hall )

      • That’s awesome! I would have loved to have been there!! Speaking of which, we have campers parked in the field next to our house. There’s a banjo player, a mandolin player, a stand-up bass, fiddle players and a few guitar players. No doubt we’ll be dancing on the turf tonight (my husband refers to it as the shit-faced shuffle). πŸ™‚

      • It’s along the Bay of Fundy shore of Nova Scotia (specifically), but we say we are from the Annapolis Valley (generally). We’ve been to your coast as well and it’s so beautiful. Our daughter lived on Salt Spring Island so we’ve driven across the country. Most people our age use the expression, “If you’re rich you retire and live in BC; if you’re poor you retire and live in Nova Scotia!” πŸ™‚

      • Oh! I assumed you can link to me in your stats. I’m at crazyforshore but it might have other letters. .. I don’t know how that works. . (I’m almost a Luddite)

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