Phonebots

Phonebots clog city streets. Tenacious, impenetrable and defiant, they march catatonic to the glow of their hand held device. They invade crosswalks with self absorbed surety of army ants, oblivious to crossing signals, traffic flow or common decency.

Wanting to scream “what’s wrong with you!” never goes well when driving a company vehicle. Self centred numskulls always take offence. Sometimes they snap a photo of our company logo/phone number, calling to express outrage over the employee who almost ran them down. Propriety dictates polite restraint. I take a deep breath, waiting patiently for phonebots to cross the street. Every so often my inner prankster honks the horn, if I’m lucky a phonebot jumps and scurries. One time a phonebot dropped their device, I laughed out loud.

Do phonebots know how infuriating they are? Believe it their right to cross intersections with flashing “Don’t Walk” signals? Create gridlock by stepping off the curb seconds before a light changes preventing vehicles from making turns, then dawdle along with kaleidoscope eyes fixated on their cell phone? Do the self absorbed little darlings care? Absolutely not! So I sit, and I wait, and every so often I shake them up with a strategically dispatched blast of the horn. It’s hysterical, phonebots hate it when you interrupt social media dribble in the middle of an intersection at rush hour.

 

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9 thoughts on “Phonebots

  1. I do not understand people glued to their phones. It is unnecessary today. You can get everything on your phone delivered to you via your ear, and respond to it with out ever touching your phone. When I am out or even doing house chores, I normally have one or both of my airpods in. I can listen to podcasts, news, music, text, and even email via them. I can stop , start, change volume, and even change what I am listening to with out pulling out my phone and staring at it. I never miss what others say to me and I never miss what is going on around me.
    You do not need the airpods to do this, any good set of earbuds will work. Our new car does all that also so we do not need to pick up our phones and try to drive at the same time. Just tell the car what you want it to do. I think all cars should have this, because people try to text while driving and cause accidents and drive off the road. No need with these systems. You get a text, the car tells you and if you want to hear it, the car reads it to you. You can respond, all with out taking your eyes off the road. I love it. Have fun today. Hugs

    • I’m flabbergasted by parents sitting on park benches while their children play. Phonebot parents glued to their phones, oblivious to what their children are doing make me crazy! As for cars – distracted driving accidents have overtaken drunk driving as the leading cause of accidents. Hugs. 🙂

    • Dammit … I still read newspapers, and in the street walk into people glued to their phones. It’s fun and scares the bejabbers out of them most of the time (still gotta work on my ‘squealing brakes’ sound effects though …)

  2. I think this could be a realising of Darwin’s Law (about survival of the fittest). So by tooting them you are actually doing them a favour.

    By running them over you’d be doing all your fellow motorists a favour. If the bots survive, they learn, no?

    No …

    • If someone mugged and assaulted them, would they even notice?

      I don’t get it either. I have a cell phone for emergencies (if my car breaks down, basically), but I go weeks at a time without even turning it on. It would make me way too nervous to walk around outdoors not being fully focused on my surroundings.

  3. We (Spouse and I) watched a young couple walking side by side and we suspect phone-by-phone. Obviously rapt in texting each other; it takes all sorts—Spouse and I actually do the old-fashioned thing called talking.

    (MEMO TO SELF:

    get the brakes adjusted to give even louder squeals, soonest. Screeches would be better …)

    • For shits and giggles I wait for a phonebot to step off the curb with 3 seconds left on a don’t walk signal, then lay on the horn. It’s hysterical! Usually they jump and snap out of phoneland, one time a man cursed and yelled at me when he dropped his phone. “Don’t be mad” I cheerfully replied. “Have a nice day” 🙂

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