Goop Dupe

If Karma is a bitch, she has one heck of a slap waiting for Gwyneth Paltrow. Next in line are the Fembots marching catatonically to her pop-up goop circus (June 7 – September 22, 2019 ) at the Hazelton Hotel in downtown Toronto. Who am I kidding, goopsters can’t march, they have jade eggs clenched in their vaginas to regulate menstrual cycles and harness the power of energy, stickers made of the same carbon NASA uses in spacesuits, plastered on their bodies to promote healing. (Never mind that NASA doesn’t use carbon in spacesuits, and that’s the least offensive contradiction ).

Health Canada inspectors wary of Paltrow’s goop dupe were no match for the queen of lifestyle sorcery. Despite their unannounced inspection, two sunscreen products not approved for sale in Canada were all they could deny drooling wellness devotees. Fear not goopbots, unapproved goop is available online and there’s nothing Health Canada can do to stop it.

Gwyneth is a quack who believes a bee sting heals scars. Her lifestyle brand is snake oil. Muster some self respect people! Goop is a dupe!

 

5 thoughts on “Goop Dupe

  1. WTF, is she still pushing this stuff? I thought it was exposed and debunked months ago. I guess the marks don’t pay attention.

    Of all the forms of scamming out there, medical quackery is the most pernicious (well, other than religion, obviously). Some of the people who are buying this rubbish, at the very least, may have actual medical problems which real doctors could help with it they weren’t relying on quackery instead.

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