The Conspiracy Conspiracy


I don’t believe we are alone in the universe; it isn’t reasonable to think in all those millions of galaxies some form of life doesn’t exist. The belief our world is only 6000 years old strikes me as pure lunacy; a sentient being did not create the world in less than a week. The 140 million mile wide black hole at the centre of the milky way galaxy is not the stairway to heaven. Cuttlefish can instantly change; not only the colour, but texture of their skin because evolution is a weird and wonderful thing. Not for one second do I think our historical timeline is accurate; history , civilization lost, whatever you want to call it, existed thousands of years before textbook history class. Governments keep us on a “need to know” basis, and money makes the world go round.

This makes me a conspiracy theorist; a person dismissed as “out there”, someone who dines on ancient aliens and buys into any hair brained argument that comes along. It isn’t about religion, science or politics; the tables have turned, I’ve been branded – open my mouth about Gobekli Tepe. Puma Punku, even solar flares and eyes start to roll. The other night I caught about 5 minutes of a TV show called Conspiracy Theory with Jessie Ventura; the subject was time travel. Jessie and his “team” were getting to the bottom of secret time travel conducted by the U.S. government, a whistle-blower claimed time travellers visited American presidents before they were elected, informing them of their destiny. I’m not able to say the how or why because something dawned on me while scrambling to change channels.

The conspiracy conspiracy seemed the only plausible explanation. Take ex pro wrestler, turned former Governor of Minnesota, Jessie Ventura; throw in Oliver Stone’s son as one of his “investigators”, turn them loose on scripted nonsense, pretty soon the mere mention of something unexplained smacks of crazy. Pure and evil genius.

Pondering Geeks


Why is it that people who speak fluent Klingon, translate time into “star dates”, grow pasty in their solitary gaming dens; coaxed out into a world of actual human contact, only when fan expos or game releases demand a physical presence – are called “geeks”? While those who delve into ancient history, gaze at the stars, or question logistics of ancient mysteries are called “wing nuts” or conspiracy theorists?

I don’t speak a word of Klingon despite growing up on Star Trek, haven’t played a video game since Pac Man ruled the pub, and gawk in astonishment as costumed devotees line up for science fiction conventions. Before any one jumps down my pondering throat – I am speaking broad generalizations. All gamers couldn’t possibly aspire to learn Klingon or dress up for Comicon. Science Fiction and fantasy thrive on imagination, role play, escape, and wonder. It just so happens that we give the name “geek” to those people who take it most seriously.

The term “geek” evokes an instant understanding, dare I say explanation for behaviour. Free from truly negative connotations; a geek is harmless, perhaps a little lacking is social graces or self esteem, and thanks to Hollywood writers – capable of saving the day. “Geeks” are free to imagine, escape, and wonder – unfettered by a society willing to look beyond first impressions. Once labelled “geek”, behaviour is overlooked or dismissed as quirky – no harm, no foul.

I’m a geek of sorts. Living in a world of imagination and wonder – the problem rears its ugly head when my inner geek is classified as “wing nut”, or worst of all alien or conspiracy theorist. I ponder ancient accomplishments with wild abandon, don’t for one second think we are alone in the universe, scratch my head; yet not once have I entertained “ancient aliens” or conspiracies. Eyes start to roll at the mention of solar flares or near earth asteroids – all seemingly lumped in with my fondness for ancient cultures fascination with the constellation Orion.

My “geek” and Klingon geek may be like talking apples and oranges. Just the same; I want a warm fuzzy name for my geeky interests. I’m a lot more vocal than Klingon speaking dungeon masters, spend more time in science than fiction, and am quite certain my analogy will be lost on many a now irate gamer. Put your swords and magic potions away, I’m making a point.

Ponder the label geek and then conspiracy theorist. The first is passive, the later aggressive. Maybe if we came up with a socially acceptable generalization for people who marvel at the ancients or gaze at the stars, I wouldn’t be so pissed off when having to explain for the hundredth time – there are marvels beyond explanation shaping our universe. Not any God, not alien intervention – simply kick ass accomplishments that make me smile – not crazy, just a pondering geek.