Sorry Donald, You’ll Never Be President

Settle down America, Donald Trump will never become President. Trump is America’s Rob Ford. Just as Toronto’s crack smoking mayor enjoyed a period of inexplicable popularity, Trump’s narcissistic, racist, misogynistic buffoonery will crash and burn. Similarities between Ford and Trump reside in ability of both men to exhibit reckless disregard for traditional politicking.

Disregard is a powerful weapon. Unexpected, refreshing, born of screwed up priorities. Gathering momentum, fueled by unspoken discontent, it penetrates stagnant air with herculean force. Caught unaware, disgruntled populations equate disregard with solutions.

Bolstered by celebrity, Trump entered politics with a haughty declaration, he would make America great again. Basking in waves of rhapsodic affirmation, Trump preened his vision of magnificence. Conservatives dismissed arrogance as patriotism, lining up to hang on his every word. Unscripted tirades mocked political correctness, lack of propriety made it abundantly clear – he didn’t know how, or was interested in playing politics. Overnight, Trump became the voice of blind conservatism.

Trump made it OK to blame, he gave fear direction and purpose. Elated numskulls embraced blame without social restraint. Build a wall to keep Mexicans out (financed in part by seizing money illegal immigrants send to family in Mexico ) ,round up and deport an estimated 11 million undocumented Mexicans, teach China how to do business ( after all, China created the climate change “hoax” to undermine the U.S. economy ), bomb the shit out of ISIS, ban Muslims from entering America, close all mosques, create a Muslim registry – blame black, brown and yellow, music to the ears of America’s white underbelly.

Disregard lances a boil, relief is immediate. Donald Trump embodies rivulets of ooze escaping that wound. Complications arise when reliance on disregard obliterate common sense. Buoyed by waves of delusional disregard, Donald Trump doesn’t realize he’ll never be President. Blame, exclusion, mockery of civil and constitutional rights, ignorance, inflammatory contempt for those daring to question his greatness – wait to deliver a sobering reality. Wake up Donald, do the math – America doesn’t have enough pinched white minds to close the deal. I’m not sure who or what you’ll blame, but assure you I’ll find your attempt entertaining.





It Could Have Been Worse

Rob Ford had the good sense or perhaps lack of to realize Jimmy Kimmel thinks he’s a donkey’s ass. If Ford tried to play it straight – attempt some feeble ruse promoting Toronto tourism – it would have embarrassed my poor nation to the core. I doubt it was a conscious decision, the man lacks boundaries most of us wouldn’t dream of crossing.

It could have been worse; I was relieved he behaved as expected, allowing Kimmel to mock his antics rather than pretend we were all mistaken. The man simply doesn’t care; by all appearances Ford is having the time of his life, milking his notoriety for all it’s worth.

I’m tired of Rob Ford. Anticipation of his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel replaced by impatience for him to go away. The joke isn’t funny anymore – we’ve all had a laugh, give it a rest. Canada is weary of snickers and guffaws, we’re over misplaced satisfaction gleaned from snippets of comedic mockery. Shame on me and any other Canadian who’s allowed an elected official to get away with utter nonsense.

Watch the Ford video and tell me if any of you believe this man deserves the benefit of the doubt – smarten up Canada.

And the Oscar Goes To, Rob Ford

Never let it be said Toronto major Rob Ford lacks hutzpah – the man just doesn’t care what anyone thinks. His preposterous journey from conflict of interest allegations to crack smoking major of Canada’s largest city, catapulted Ford into the realm of celebrity bad boy – by all appearances the designation pleases him.

To be completely honest – with nothing other than a sneaking suspicion to back it up – I believe deep down, at some level many Canadians feel the same way. I’ll be so bold as to come right out and say – there’s something satisfying about a bat shit countryman making David Letterman’s top 10 list, CNN’s top 10 list of scandals, incredulous guffaws by Jon Stewart, and comedic fodder across America.

Effectively stripped of power by a city council fed up with drunken outbursts, unannounced late night attempts to visit jailed “associates”, unexplained trips to known drug houses, and of course the crack debacle – this major in name only isn’t about to eat humble pie. Oh hell no – the Rob Ford circus is headed for the Oscars.

Jimmy Kimmel; in what can only be described as a stroke of ratings genius, landed Ford as a guest – immediately following the Oscars Canada’s train wreck will settle into Kimmel’s couch – it doesn’t matter I have to work at 5:30 AM the next day – you couldn’t tear me away if you tried.

Rob Ford raised eyebrows in Canada long before international media caught wind. Unapologetic, in your face, reckless, arrogant, oblivious – a source of astonishment bordering on entertainment. It isn’t often someone comes along with the audacity to stay the course. Unencumbered by remorse or propriety, to  forge ahead simply because they can’t help themselves. Holy crap; it’s too good – I can’t help watching, and make no apologies for doing so.

The Oscar for Canadian buffoon goes to Rob Ford.

Rob Ford, centre right, and Jimmy Kimmel, far right at LAX with Ford's brother Randy, far left, and Ford Communications officer Amin Massoudi, centre left.

TwitterRob Ford, centre right, and Jimmy Kimmel, far right at LAX with Ford’s brother Randy, far left, and Ford Communications officer Amin Massoudi, centre left.


Oh Canada – Why Are You So Silly?

Today is one of those days when I’m easily annoyed; not in an angry, blood boiling way – simply a day when Canada strikes me as a pointlessly silly nation. I suppose that’s where annoyance comes in; I don’t mind jokes about Canada, it’s when we behave like idiots deserving snickers – that’s when I ponder the mindset of this great nation.

In no particular order, a few silly stories on this Canadians mind…..

Beluga Yoga protest at the Vancouver Aquarium yesterday struck me as rather silly. Granted, Vancouver is responsible for Lululemon; founder Chip Wilson found himself in hot water recently when he said “some women’s bodies don’t work for their yoga pants”, something to do with large thighs stretching the fabric, combined with “rubbing”, excluded those beyond size 12 from purchasing his $75.00 yoga pants. A petition is now circulating with the demand that Lululemon “stops shaming women’s bodies, apologizes and starts making pants for women of all sizes”. I’m rambling – back to Beluga yoga – the Vancouver Aquarium, a lovely facility in Stanley Park, began offering yoga classes beside the interior viewing area for Beluga whales. This landed like a lead balloon with certain yoga purists; yoga being about “freedom, unity and liberation”, the perplexed yogis staged a protest outside the facility. They held a yoga protest – and I mean that literally – yoga poses and placards in the parking lot. Nary a peep when Girl Guides camp in this space overnight or a swanky dinner is catered – all yogi hell breaks loose when yoga classes assault sensibilities. Plain silly.

Yoga with belugas draws protesters to Vancouver Aquarium

I suppose I can’t call this silly – at least not as silly as beluga yoga –  it got under my skin just the same. Driving today I heard a political attack ad, courtesy of our Conservative government.  Justin Trudeau, leader of the federal Liberal party has come out in favour of legalizing marijuana. Trudeau has stated openly that he’s smoked marijuana during the time he sat as a member of parliament, emphasizes the value of regulation, and stresses the importance of regulation rather than a continuation of failures concerning the “war on drugs”. Trudeau is realistic, practical and refreshingly honest. I literally threw up in my mouth as I heard a 30 second “spot”, undoubtedly paid for with my tax dollars – a “concerned mother” blasting Trudeau for turning Canadian children onto recreational drugs, asking if this was any sort of roll model our country needed. Holy crap.

Peter MacKay is criticizing Justin Trudeau for answering a question about the Liberal’s plans to legalize marijuana while speaking at a public school in Manitoba.

I promised myself I wouldn’t waste a moment pondering ridiculous Rob Ford – I confess, this zinger crossed the line; in reference to his former special assistant, Ford blurted at a press conference…

“Oh and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says it says that I wanted to eat her pussy. Olivia Gondek, I’ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

Rob Ford is beyond silly; the “Ford show” more a SNL skit than reality. Perhaps Ford should attend Beluga yoga.

Rob Ford

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford wipes his face during council at City Hall in Toronto, November 14, 2013. REUTERS/Mar