Bulletproof Backpack


Remember when back to school shopping was simple? New clothes, notebooks, pencil crayons, lunchbox? Nervous excitement born of what to wear the first day, not consideration of random gun violence. Fear not – bleeding heart liberals can stop whining about gun reform, bulletproof backpacks are the back to school must.

Last May, Louisiana voted overwhelmingly to amend State law banning students from wearing body armor. How progressive! Little Dick and Jane are encouraged to wear backpack armor at school and all school sanctioned events. What’s this? Poor little Jane’s parents can only afford the $100 sheet of backpack insert, hope Jane is shot in the back by a handgun because her insert won’t stop rifle bullets. What self respecting mass shooter packs a pistol? Stay strong little Jane, when bullets fly use Dick as a shield, his parents had $300 for Dick’s top of the line rifle deflecting armor.

https://www.americas1stfreedom.org/articles/2018/5/23/louisiana-legislature-approves-bulletproof-backpacks/

Ponder absurdity of this image – by what stretch of imagination does aesthetically pleasing placement of a shiny red apple make it okay to flog $300 armor for back to school?

How about this from https://www.americanrifleman.org/articles/2014/3/31/bulletsafe-bulletproof-backpack-panels/ – NRA froth extraordinaire….

“In fact kids have a higher chance of being hurt playing any sport, even golf, than from a firearm, thanks in no small part to the numerous safety campaigns of NRA such as Eddie Eagle. That doesn’t however change the ingenious of this idea. Parents purchase all manners of equipment to keep kids safe – gates, monitors, socket plugs – so why shouldn’t we consider an item that could protect them in the unlikely event of an attack”.

https://bulletblocker.com/bullet-proof-backpack-shield.html

Don’t mistake mention of Louisiana for isolated demand of bulletproof backpacks, the epidemic flourishes across America. My dismay reads like futuristic script of a 60’s science fiction novel, a cautionary tale chronicling collapse of social order leading to civil war, annihilation of a once dominant civilization.

Wake up people, nothing about bulletproof backpacks is okay, Children deserve better.

Gunning For The Jibber-Jabber Grand Prize


Seems I twisted a few gun metal gray panties. Silly Canadian, what was I thinking? Who but an idealistic fool posts a question on Quora asking Americans if they’re bothered by the Virginia Beach massacre taking 148th place in number of 2019 U.S. mass shootings.

Reaction was swift and prolific, capsulated in overwhelming contempt. “Are you a stupid child?”, “Go crawl in a hole somewhere”, “It doesn’t impact my life, why are you making false claims?”, “Do you enjoy being a liar?”, “You’re a weak minded pussy”, “Cry to someone who cares” – those are the nice comments. No measure of “easy now” could placate collective wrath.

Take a deep breath, I said. This isn’t a personal attack, can we exchange perspectives without resorting to juvenile bullying? Apparently not. “You’re pathetic” they quipped. “A pathetic fool repeating lies by self interested political agendas”. Excuse me? You take issue with the definition of mass shooting? Only 3, not 148 in 2019, you say? Wikipedia says –

Wikipedia says –

“There are many definitions of a mass shooting:

Mass Shooting Tracker: 4+ shot in one incident, at one location, at roughly the same time.

[4]

Gun Violence Archive: 4+ shot in one incident, excluding the perpetrator(s), at one location, at roughly the same time.

[5]

Vox: 4+ shot in one incident, excluding the perpetrator(s), at one location, at roughly the same time.

[6]

[7]

USA Today: 4+ shot and killed in one incident, at one location, at roughly the same time (same as the FBI‘s “mass killing” definition).

[8]

Mother Jones: 3+ shot and killed in one incident, excluding the perpetrator(s), at a public place, excluding gang-related killings.

[9]

The Washington Post: 4+ shot and killed in one incident, excluding the perpetrator(s), at a public place, excluding gang-related killings.

[10]

Only incidents considered mass shootings by at least two of the above definitions are listed.”

Interested in reviewing their tally of events linked below?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mass_shootings_in_the_United_States_in_2019

No? I’m still a stupid child?

Not since posting support for abortion rights and being told I deserved to watch everyone I loved murdered before my eyes to teach me a lesson, have I encountered such absurd jibber-jabber. Fortunately this Canadian can turn and walk away.

Bang Bang America, Hail The Greatest Nation On Earth


Forgive me America, every so often I forget you’re the greatest nation on Earth. Who am I to question your infinite tolerance of gun violence, stoic determination to turn a blind eye, patriotic duty to pack pistols and ever so practiced march to gun lobby bugles. For the record I really like Washington State House Bill 1050. Kudos to Republican representatives Matt Shea, David Taylor and Bob McCaslin for opening the first legislative session of 2017 with a Bill aimed at legalizing concealed weapons at sports arenas – how American of you.

http://www.king5.com/news/local/washington-bill-would-allowed-concealed-guns-in-stadiums/367996835

Please excuse a naive foreigner for forgetting how wonderful you are. Truth is, many sleepless nights were spent commiserating over unimaginable burdens Americans endured during 8 years of left wing assaults on freedom. Stand tall, know it was you who neutralized  bleeding heart liberals bent on obliteration of constitutional rights to lose your shit and sink as many bullets as you damn well please into anyone you please. But for patriotic tenacity your bastion of democracy and reason might have fallen into an abyss of conscience reserved for insignificant nations.

Electing a racist, sexist, narcissistic reality television bobble-head president was a step in the right direction. You must have been pissed when he relented on tossing Hillary in jail, confused by his brief period of restraint, buoyed by the return to American values appointment of patriotic climate change denier Scott Pruitt at EPA’s helm. Make room in your hearts for frailties of a celebrity billionaire president elect, he had a lot on his plate. Come inauguration day nasty allegations of rape and fraud will be forgotten, liberation of the greatest nation on Earth is within reach.

Not only does the world support correction of America’s misplaced priorities, we rejoice in cessation of stifling suggestion Americans are fucked in the head over right to bear arms. Don’t be mad at us for doubting your magnificence, we’re only human. I can explain if you suspend belief to imagine the ignorance of not as great nations deprived of rights to defend themselves, yet muddling through their day without fear. That said, we’re elated America is back on track.

Mindful of patriots struggling with post traumatic stress caused by eight excruciating years of liberal jibber-jabber, I offer some irrefutable rays of light. Great American Wayne LaPierre (leader of the NRA) tweeted “our time is now” on hearing election results.

At an NRA-sponsored event Monday, in the desert north of Phoenix, more than 1,000 gun owners and enthusiasts gathered for a so-called 1000 Man Shoot. Men and women from 16 states lined up shoulder to shoulder to fire 1,000 Henry Golden Boy Silver rifles simultaneously. They fired two rounds at a long row of targets. In the cheers after the second, a shooting safety officer in a lime green shirt and red hat said: “Can you hear us now, Hillary?”

“We made history last week,” Pete Brownell, the first vice president of the NRA, told the crowd. “And I have to tell you it feels great to be on offense again.”

Brownell and other gun rights advocates say that they’ve had to be on defense for the past eight years under the Obama administration.

“We’ve always had to be looking out for how our rights are going to be taken away from us as individuals; how our constitutional rights are going to be impinged upon,” Brownell says. “Now, the ball’s going to be in our court.”

Need more assurance? Click on this link –

http://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/news/npr/502229875/following-election-nra-goes-on-offense-here-s-what-it-could-aim-to-do

Silly America, kick yourselves for doubting erosion of greatness. Superiority doesn’t vanish, it retreats, regroups and comes back stronger than ever. High fives for proposed legislation allowing weapons in sports arenas. Admiration for expected abolition of annoying laws preventing concealed weapon permit holders to transport their arsenal across state lines. Laugh out loud when hippies and freaks suggest temperance. Bang bang America – your staggering indifference is an inspiration to those who seek greatness.