Glory Holes

Oh Canada. I thought a closed U.S./Canada border and polite socially distanced mask respect for fellow citizens accounted for low COVID infection rates in Canada. Say what you will about Canada, but above all – we don’t shy away from open discussion of safe sex practices during pandemic times. Such is our nature, no stone left unturned. Seems we’re acutely aware of safe sex practices.

Ponder content of a recent brochure issued by the CDC in British Columbia. Fear not Canada, lest there be any doubt, government doesn’t shy away from straight answers. It recognizes our sexual nature with gloriously detailed recommendations.

In a perfect world government would have persons inclined to engage in sexual activity with another outside their immediate bubble – take matters in their own hands. It suggests masturbating in the same room as your partner, or engaging in virtual sex. Barring that, wear a mask, avoid kissing, choose a position conducive to least amount of face to face contact. Ever a wealth of practical solutions, government boldly advocated for physical barriers, specifically “glory holes”.

A “glory hole” is a hole made in a wall or other type of partition where a man can insert his penis and receive sexual stimulation. They are usually used so the sex partners can’t see each other and are anonymous.

A hand gives a thumb's up out of a hole in the

This satirical sign appeared on Vancouver’s Commercial Drive. –

This Canadian appreciates the effort, recognizes creative impetus pegging the heartbeat of my home and native land. Lighten up people! It’s a public service announcement, not a manifesto promoting glory hole annihilation of western civilization.

Conservative American heads imploded when glory hole advice made headlines. One right wing site I refuse to dignify with a link said – “Soon enough the Canadian government will be putting out manuals on how to do anal sex. Soon enough the Canadian government will be putting out manuals on how to fist-fuck your own asshole while gay niggers rape a goat in front of you. Soon enough the Canadian government will legalize child rape so that Justin Trudeau and his tranny wife can abuse their own children. This is what Canada has become: an absolute cesspit of evil and cultural decay. The Canadian government is swimming with perverts, pedophiles and zoophiles.”

Hey America, don’t be mad. At least Canada isn’t afraid to speak frankly. Nor do we pretend sexual encounters are exclusive to same sex partners. I’ll take realistic practicality over preposterous family values ignorance any day.

10 thoughts on “Glory Holes

  1. *Sigh* I suppose even conservative US right/wing types have to avidly scour all the porn sites to be … on top of(sic) … all the current sexual predalictions so as to be able to slam their highly ‘deviant’ northern neighbours. ”Goat raping gay niggers”? Is it necessary to be gay? And why a goat? The mind boggles. SMH.

    Pastor David Robertson (the Weeflea) recently put up a post about some Rapper who has made a record called WAP (You can Google it!) and how things are all going to pot ( though not the drug, I understand).
    I had never heard of the artist or the song – and neither had my kids when I asked.
    I would have gone to my grave blissfully ignorant if it were not for the good Pastor.
    Sometimes it’s best to simply let things pass on by!

  2. “Conservative American heads imploded when glory hole advice made headlines.” — funny, I saw nothing about this story here. You must follow more inclusive topics. 🤣🤣🤣

    • You’re right, the only U.S. heads imploding were those of alt-right conservatives. That said, I stand by the opinion Canada isn’t bothered by speaking openly on any topic in the interest of public safety.

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