Sun Bum

“Wellness” trends never fail to amuse. Make no mistake, fortunes are made by snake oil charlatans hawking new age wellness to scores of impressionable simpletons. Seems all you have to do is preface wellness with “health” to curiously validate preposterous claims. From goopy Gwyneth Paltrow convincing women to steam their vaginas like asparagus or believing vaginas make great cartons for pricey jade eggs, to crackpot cleanses, enemas and colonics marketed for weight loss/detoxification, there’s a fool born every minute.

“Add to cart” isn’t the only tool in the health & wellness box, “self-care” trends monetize content courtesy views, likes and shares. Nothing like a viral Tweet, Instagram, Facebook or blog post to cement trend status. It’s a billion dollar behemoth littered with fraudulent claims, dangerous misinformation, misleading propaganda and bloated superiority.

Ponder perineum sunning, aka butthole sunning – “In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on” accompanied a Instagram video featuring this image last October –

See the source image

Then this –

See the source image

According to metaphysical Meagan “My experience with perineum sunning has been profound,” she claims. “I have been practicing this for a few months now. I start my day with 5 minutes of perineum sunning & feel energized for hours. I no longer rely on coffee for energy to start my day because I am getting my energy from the sun. I also am experiencing better sleep and require less sleep due to boost of overall energy.”

Perineum defines thin, delicate skin between your genitals and anus, without question an area where the sun shouldn’t shine. Physicians and dermatologists overwhelmingly caution against exposing perineum to sunlight. Sunning your butt won’t regulate circadian rhythm, regulate hormones, increase personal magnetism, improve focus and mental stimulation or help libido and sexual energy.

Health and wellness is a quagmire of misinformation. Self improvement requires honest reflection, not cockamamie testimonials guaranteeing eternal bliss courtesy sun on your bum. Smarten up people!

What is Perineum Sunning? Doctors Warn Against Butthole Sunning |

13 thoughts on “Sun Bum

  1. I once mentioned I had read about such and such on a medical site on the internet to my GP, Dave, and he responded: ”And by page four you were probably dead, am I right?”
    We laughed.

    • Painfully accurate laughter. WTF? Who wakes up and thinks hey, time to sun my bum? Or this oatmeal from a firehose diarrhea isn’t harmful, this herbal cleanse promised to release toxins and bad energy?

    • I shake my head. Picture your naked self flat on your back, spread legs pointing at the morning sun, grinning like a mad fool while convincing yourself it grounds you to the earth, regulates sleep, increases libido and generates personal magnetism. Sweet mercy!!!!!

  2. When you look around at all the crazy things people believe and don’t even count politics or religion, it’s amazing to me we have survived at all.
    And I can only imagine what other looney things people will continue to come up with til we are all gone.
    Could it be a form of mass insanity?

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