I couldn’t make this up if I tried. The following is actual copy for Anti-Masturbation Gum or Cream if you prefer to cheat a little….
“Do you struggle with uncontrollable urges? Do you risk death when driving by being unable to keep your hands where they belong? Your days of uncontrollable touching, stroking, rubbing or whatever term you like are over. Say goodbye to calloused and rug burned skin with the careful use of any of these anti masturbation products.
Anti-masturbation gum is preferred by many due to its ability to be used at any time no matter where you are. It has a quick response time so if you’re suddenly plagued by those old standby feelings you can put an immediate stop to them. Your days of embarrassing agony are gone forever as long as you keep a fresh pack of anti-masturbation gum in your pocket at all times.
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